Ladies...pull up a chair and a cup of coffee (or juice, or water...whatever) and relax. I have a question for you. Do you ever have days where you just feel unattractive and blah? If so, (ladies)...what do you do about it? I don't compare myself to others (I used to at about middle school age on up through high school, probably), but after that, I learned to appreciate my CRAZY unruly hair that some actually thought was "cool." and my abnormally long legs and high waist. I learned to appreciate my unique look and just go with it, even if I always did feel like a freak of nature (someone actually called me that, once). However in the 80's, a curly-haired teenage girl did NOT think her freaky curls were "cool"...(just for the record) -- especially since the only product that even 1/2-way tamed them was Alberto VO5 or ironing your hair (yes...my sister taught me that disastrous trick that works the first few times, but then damages your hair for years). Products have gotten a bit better now, I'm happy to say -- including the ones I make myself.
I remember once in high school there was a boy I really liked. I really admired him. He was smart, handsome and athletic. He wasn't considered one of the "popular" kids, but probably one of the "geeks" because he was so smart (yes---brains before beauty has always been my attraction). I guess at the time, his opinion of me really mattered. One day he sat next to me while waiting for the activity bus after school. He had just finished with wrestling and I had just finished with track and field. It was one of those days my sister convinced me to "iron my hair." I thought I was looking pretty good because my curls were ALMOST gone, and it was mostly straight. I had also sprayed in 1/2 a bottle of "Sun-In" (remember that stuff, ladies...dried your hair out like no other, but you still got that sun-kissed look, by crackie!!!)? I couldn't believe this boy sat down to talk to ME....MEEEEE. I was nervous, but tried not to be. I couldn't wait to hear what he had to say. Then when he opened his mouth he said this to me, "Hey, Roseshel,...what happened to your hair? It looks sort of like straw...it's even the same color....interesting." My heart broke. He had no idea how much his words hurt at a time when my self-esteem was very fragile. "Straw?" I thought. "Straw???!!" The word kept going through my mind. Was that supposed to be a compliment? I don't think it was supposed to be a compliment OR a put-down...it was just him reacting to what he was seeing, I suppose. If that were to happen today, it would just roll right off my back like a duck and water -- but not back then. Today, I probably would had retorted, "Do you get many dates with lines like that? How's THAT working out for ya?" Then I would had helped him see that his words were hurtful and WHY. Sometimes men TRULY just don't know better, ladies and they need your help.
So one of these days that I was just feeling like I couldn't get "it" together ("it" is a category that spans a few areas in my life), a stranger actually cheered me up. A car was riding by me as I was stopped on a street corner on my bike with a friend. A young man leaned out the window and screamed to me, "I LOVE your hair...it's beautiful!" It wasn't your average catcall. For all I know, he was gay. What made that man feel the need to do this will always be a mystery to me but I can't help but wonder if God was trying to give me a boost. He does put angels in places we would never guess they'd be and on that particular day, that man to me was an angel. I was feeling anything BUT beautiful with my wind-blown crazy curls after riding my bike, but felt a deep need inside wasn't being met -- the need to feel attractive and be recognized for those qualities. It's not like the man was someone from work trying to woo me, or someone I'll ever see again. It was some random stranger who felt the need to shout out a compliment to me and to be quite honest, he made my day.
I find myself doing this at local stores (umm...not driving by and shouting compliments at people) but telling people I like something about them, instead of keeping it to myself. Why? Because I know how it feels to have days when you just don't feel attractive. I have to admit, though, that I ONLY give these compliments to ladies as I don't want men to think I am flirting with them, and to also make sure my husband never has to wonder about my intentions that way. I AM a married woman who truly does honor her vows. I don't care what you say, we ALL have that need every-now-and-then. If that's ALL we think about, then it's narcissism. But if it's just a thought that makes us want to present our best selves, I don't believe that's wrong. I don't believe it's vain or superficial. Why? Because many times even though we all know it's the "inside that counts," we still want to feel like the beauty from the inside is showing up on the outside, too. Don't we?
So today I decided to call myself "beautiful," even if no one else does. I'm going to get off my butt and go take a walk before I jump into the research I have to do today for my profession. I'm going to be the best I can be and remember who made me. I'm going to remember that anything God makes is beautiful -- and that includes me. I believe I answered my own question while typing this blog. The question was, "Do you ever have days where you just feel unattractive and blah? If so, (ladies)...what do you do about it?"
Sometimes I just need to work things out through words and thought. Sometimes once I get it "out there" and off my chest, the answer comes. Maybe give a stranger a compliment today. Maybe they're feeling like I have been feeling and you just might make their day.
Thanks for reading my ramblings and remember, you are a beautiful creation of God and to Him, you are beautiful! Blessings on you and yours today as you go about your day. <3
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