Natural Ingredient Vendors for the Discerning Customer

 I am very excited.  So, I have been making all natural products for myself for some time, now.  As friends and patients began to want better alternatives to their products that were causing rashes, headaches, dry skin, eczema, etc., etc., I began researching better alternatives for them, as well -- from lotions, to soaps, to natural make-up to shampoos and conditioners.  I couldn't keep giving things away for free, as it was starting to cost ME money to do so (i.e. had to buy the containers to give away, as well as the actual end-product with all-natural ingredients).  So, now I sell these items as part of my business at www.waleliwellness.com.

One of my issues with my own products, was testing.  If I were to break out in a rash due to too much cinnamon or the wrong KIND of cinnamon in a product, no big deal.  However, I can't sell a product to a customer without the proper testing.  I wanted to make sure the ingredients were safe and shelf-stable, as well as low-bacteria forming.

With natural products, the shelf life is shorter than the chemical laden, toxic counterparts, but for some people, having a better quality of life, living longer with less side effects (or NO side effects) from their beauty or skin care products is more important.   I have been thrilled to find out that there ARE natural alternatives for preservatives (after much research in the late-night hours, I have found them).

There are other companies out there who will also do the research and testing FOR me in a lab on my current products, as well as offer research info. and safe ingredients for me to use in future products for customers.  I now have 2 vendors I trust for myself and for my clients.

On of my vendors says this on their website:  "**Business Name** is a family owned, and operated, wholesale supplier of personal care ingredients and bases.

We offer standard commodities, as well as premium alternatives, for the production, of the full range, of bath, body, hair, and skin, care products with a focus on plant based, natural, ingredients for the production of petro, paraben, formaldehyde, artificial color and fragrance, free products." This company is devoted to helping me make better products for my customer base.  Without people like us, they can't continue to do business.  Without our demand, they will not survive.  Sorry I didn't list the name of the company but you know,  I can't give ALL my secrets away to my competition out there...but I'm happy to pass on the benefits to my customers.

It's amazing how words such as "natural ingredients" can just make my day!  As consumers begin to demand better products for better health, you will start to see health improve.  I truly believe this.  "Organic" wouldn't be so expensive if it was the norm, as opposed to the exception.  I, personally, don't want pesticides in my food...or toxic, cancer causing chemicals in my shampoo...or mercury in my mascara (which is absorbed through the skin and currently in most mascara formulations today).  So for me, I started making my OWN products and being picky about the food I eat.  I feel and see the difference in my body and have even seen the difference in my eczema patients when certain dietary and product changes were made.  These patients, as well as my own personal care needs, were my inspiration to make the products I make today.

It's nice to know I am not alone in this quest for better health and wellness.  What will you choose?

Prejudiced and Unaware

So, last week, my hubby and I had just finished having a lovely dinner out for my birthday.  It was the perfect evening.  We decided to stop off at 7-11 to get a movie from the Redbox machine.  We had a coupon...purchase one, get one free...the total cost was like $1.67...beats the movies by about $20 some odd dollars (with popcorn, soda, etc) AAAANNNNNDDDD we got to snuggle in jammies with comfy blankies .  Anyway -- that's a side tangent.  I'm getting to the point in a moment.

The hubby got out of the car to get the movies we wanted from Redbox.  As I waited in the nice, warm car enjoying the afterglow of the delicious dinner I had just enjoyed, I noticed a woman talking on the pay phone next to the Redbox machine.  There was a family in front of my hubby, so he had to wait his turn before he could purchase.  Because he had to wait a bit, he had time to witness the woman on the pay phone.  His turn came, and he stepped up to the Redbox machine.  

I sat back, enjoying the warmth of the car and listening to the radio.  I then looked up to see if my hubby was almost done.  My attention then turned to the woman at the pay phone again.  I noticed she was smoking a cigarette as plumes of smoke went up into the air and over towards the Redbox machine.  I immediately thought, "Ugh...I am so glad I'm not breathing that stuff.  With all the knowledge we have today, why does ANYONE smoke anymore?  And the cost of those things...to buy something that is basically like a nail in your coffin...and to pay that much money to help pay for your own death?  Some people are just idiots.  My poor hubby has to breath that stuff right now.  I hope he hurries up so he can get out of there."  These were my thoughts that flooded my mind and my heart in a matter of seconds.  There were other thoughts, too, but I am ashamed to say them...something to do with the fact that people in my neighborhood seem to be very caught up in drama, gossip and being part of their own demise by getting involved in the drug scene.  All these thoughts flew through my head in a matter of milliseconds.

Then, my hubby began walking towards the car.  "Finally."  I thought to myself, "get him out of there."  When he got in the car he said, "See that woman at the payphone?"  I replied, "Yes," thinking he was going to say some of the things I had been thinking or that he was going to complain about having to be downwind from her cancer-causing habit for so long.  "She seems pretty upset.  Should we see if she needs help or if she needs a ride?"  

Sometimes I secretly think that I am the soft-hearted one of the family.  I am the one who cuddles the dog...I am the one who mediates between the hubby and son when they are getting on each other's nerves...I am the one who is tender and feminine (at least in my OWN head).  I realized at that moment, that it was my HUSBAND who was being the 'good' Christian at that moment.  I had been filled with so much judgement for this person I didn't even KNOW standing at the pay phone, puffing on her cigarette, that I looked right passed a possible need...a person who was crying...a person who was suffering...a person who needed me to be more like Jesus and less like a Pharisee.  

At that moment, I felt ashamed of my thoughts.  I felt the conviction of God...by a God who is ALWAYS gentle with me, but will hardly ever let a teaching moment go by to make me a better person...or to REMIND me that NONE of us are "good"...that we are ALL in need a Savior to pull us out of our sins.  I might not be a murderer, or outwardly mean, a don't litter, I don't lie, I don't cheat or steal, but I....AM....A....SINNER.  The thoughts I had about this stranger started out with just curiosity...but led to judgement.  I had NO idea what she was going through or why she was there at that pay phone that night.  My heart then softened as I noticed my sometimes grumpy husband turn into a man full of compassion...something I lacked that evening.

The woman then hung up the phone and began to walk into the 7-11 store.  I told the hubby, "I'll be right back."  A voice inside my head (which I believe was the Holy Spirit) said, "Go...go talk to her.  Ask her if she needs a ride...if she needs help."  So, I did.  She was standing in line, trying to keep it together.  I felt awkward at first, going up to a stranger and not knowing what to say, so I asked the Holy Spirit to put the right words in my mouth.  I then asked her if she needed help or a ride and she began crying profusely.  She was shaking.  I reached out and hugged her and just held her for a bit...smoke smell and all.  I embraced her and told her, "It's ok.  It's ok.  I know you don't know me, but I promise you that you can trust me.  If you need a ride or help, my husband and I will be glad to take you wherever you need to go.  Just tell us what you need.  My husband was getting a movie from the Redbox machine and noticed that you were upset.  We both decided we wanted to help you.  Why don't you take a moment to collect yourself, and then come on out and let us know if you would like a ride.  I will wait outside, okay?"  She nodded her head.  She kept apologizing for crying and I told her, "Hey...it's ok!  We all have our days...I know I do!  I used to have a lot more...but now, life is pretty good.  But I remember a time, when it was really, really hard.  There were people along the way who helped me out...and a God who made sure I came out on top in the end.  So, when I see a person in need, I want to pass on all the help that was given to me.  This is what my God would have me do.  I'll wait outside for you."

A few seconds later, she came out.  " I would like a ride.  I don't live far."  I introduced her to Mark as she got in the car.  I then gave her my cell phone to call her brother.  As we rode to her house, she told us that she had just moved to this area.  She said she was having a hard time and that she hated it here and was hoping things would get better.  She also said she has children.  We never found out why she was so upset or what had happened, but that wasn't as important as was just helping a woman feel safe, and getting her where she needed to go, in order for her to feel better about her situation.

She then said this, as if the Holy Spirit told her to do so, "I am sorry for the smoke...I have anxiety really bad and when I get really stressed or feel anxious, I smoke.  I know it's a bad habit, but it helps to calm me a bit."  At that moment, I felt even more ashamed of myself and my previous thoughts.  I heard my Father in Heaven say to me and to my heart, "My dear one...my daughter...do you see?  You never know the situation a person has come from, what they are going through, or where they are going...but I do.  Don't judge...just love...and I will take care of the rest."  At that moment, it took every ounce of my being NOT to break down and cry.  God allowed my heart to soften, and I was convicted.

As we dropped her at her door at a trailer park not too far from our house I asked her, "Do you feel safe?  Are you going to be safe at home?" as I wanted to make sure she wasn't going home to a domestic violence situation.  She replied, "Oh, yes...I'll be fine here.  Hopefully, my brother will be coming home soon."  She was so appreciative.  She asked if there was anything she could do for US.  So I told her, "Yes...if you want to, you can pray for my husband and I.  Prayers are always appreciated...and we will pray for you, too.  What is your name?"  She told me her name and then told us that we are welcome at her place ANY time.

I told her that we would pray for her.  She said good-night with a "God bless you," and we parted ways.  I learned a lot that night...on my birthday celebration evening.  I was reminded of days when life for ME was hard.  I was reminded of strangers who helped...like the time I fainted in Boston in the middle of the street and a kind police officer found me and took me to the hospital.  He could had said, "Look at that drug addict in the middle of the road," and kept going.  Now mind you, I've never done drugs in my LIFE, but it's possible that it LOOKED that way, due to my condition.  He could had ASSUMED that I was some crack head, due to the neighborhood I just happened to be in at the time when I blacked out from exhaustion, stress and malnourishment.  This is only ONE time where I was given help by a stranger when I really needed it.  There are many others...and that night, God reminded me as faces flashed through my mind...faces that HE used...hands and hearts that HE used to keep me safe.  He GENTLY reminded me of His grace, His mercy and His provisions for me...even before I knew who He was.

The moral of the story?  Don't smoke or Roseshel will judge you harshly.  Kidding.  No...the moral is, perception is EVERYTHING!  Open your heart and devote your life to the ONE thing that God says is most important....LOVE ONE another!  

I end this note with these words of wisdom from the King of Kings and Lord of Lords who is the author of my soul:

(copied over from my Facebook Notes section in January, 2015)

1 Corinthians 13 New International Version (NIV)

"13 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,[b] but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

Be well, and God bless you, my friends. <3

Modern Interpretation of the Lord's Prayer

I like to take some time during the day (whether it be in the morning, afternoon or late at night when all is quiet and the rest of the family has gone to bed) to contemplate and talk to my God.

Some people are very regimented about the time they talk to God.  I once attended a church where EVERYONE had to have "quiet times" in the morning...it was expected.  I remembered thinking that was quite odd.  We are all individuals...all different "parts of the body" who love God...would you tell a hand to act like a foot?  This only happens if a person cannot use their hand, right?  Should praising your God and loving your God be done the very same way by every single person on the face of the planet?  There is a term for this kind of thinking -- it's called "legalism."   So, not EVERYONE is going to spend their time with God in the morning, just like not everyone prays the same way.  Yet, there is one prayer, "The Lord's Prayer" (found in the Bible in the two books of Matthew and Luke), that some would say is a prayer we can all say the same way.  Well, even this is not true if you look at the context of what Jesus was saying to do with this prayer He gave to His disciples.  When asked how they should pray, the Lord gave them a "template," if you will...not a prayer to be said in a rote way.  We are to offer our own prayers up to God, but this template helps us to focus on what is important. The prayer goes like this:

"Our Father who art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. 

Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven. 

Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, 

as we forgive those who trespass against us, 

and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.

For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever.

Amen."

If the Lord's Prayer had a shape and a form, I believe it would be in the shape of an hour glass.  In the beginning, Jesus tells us to address "Our Father" who is in Heaven.  Then we go on to address His name...his Holy name...a name that is above all others.  There is much depth in this one line alone.  This line is the top of  the hour glass picture I have in mind.  It is the most important part of the prayer...to address the Lord, your God, with reverence.  

What does it mean to be "hallowed?"  This means "holy."  What does "holy" mean?  It means something or someone to be honored, to be held above, to be kept clean in your mind and in the case of our God, it means so much more than the English language (or any other human language) can even express!  

To understand why God's name should be hallowed, we first need to understand that the Jews (God's chosen people) had different naming customs than we do today. To a Jew, a person's name was more than just a way to identify them physically; their name also reflected their nature. Jews named their children in a way that expressed the child's mission in life. Because of this custom, the Jewish people had about 16 different names for God in the Hebrew Old Testament (and maybe more). Each name reflected a different aspect of God's character, so God's names were considered by the Jews to be just as holy as God Himself. In fact, God's names were and are so holy to many Jewish people, that they never write His full name for fear of bringing disrespect to it and to God.  My own ancestors had a similar custom (Native Americans), which I have always found interesting.  A Native American baby can start out with one name and end up with many new ones along the way in life, reflecting their talents, their characteristics, or the goals they believed God (a.k.a. "The Great Spirit") had put in their lives on their life journey. I, myself, have a few names that were given to me by different family members but those names never showed up on my birth certificate. :)

In the Lord's prayer, the phrase, "Hallowed be Your name" is appropriate, because not only is God holy, but His name is holy too. We should never treat God's name with disrespect as some do when they curse and use God's name in vain. We should give the same respect and honor to God's name that we give to God because He and His name are one in the same.

"Thy Kingdom Come, Thy Will Be Done"  is still at the top of the hour glass...for God's plans for us are part of why we pray.  As we pray, we must always keep God's will in mind.  Are we praying for selfish reasons?  Are we praying against what God would tell us to do when He says to "love one another?"  If we pray for our neighbor to die, because he wakes us up every morning with his loud car at 5:00 am when we are trying to sleep, do you think death for a loud neighbor would be God's will???  Probably not.  So instead we can pray for God's will...for us to be kind, gentle, peaceful, patient, not easily angered, etc., etc.  When "God's Kingdom Comes," this is how it will be.  What God calls "the fruits of the spirit" will actually exist in everyone who is called to God's Kingdom.  So, we must be diligent and pray for these things so it can be like this "on earth, as it is in Heaven."

Now in my view, the hour glass picture outline starts to swerve inward a bit...getting closer to the middle of the hour glass, in this part of the prayer that says:

"...give us this day our daily bread."  This part is focusing on our needs.  What is it that you need to survive here on earth?  But does this contradict with what Jesus says in Matthew 4:4 when He proclaims that, "Man cannot live on bread alone, but with every word that God speaks."?  As a matter-of-fact, it fits quite nicely into this prayer and does not contradict at all!  Notice He says that man cannot live on bread ALONE.  This means, there is a spiritual element that is very, very important!  God recognizes that we are currently mortal beings, in a sense.  We must feed our bodies for nourishment so that the flesh does not die.  However even more importantly, we must feed on God's word to feed the spirit.  Our daily bread in this sense, means asking God to take care of our physical needs, but even more importantly, to help us take care of our spiritual needs.  By feeding the spirit, by studying out God's word, we can TRULY live!  In doing this, even after death, we live on in the Kingdom of God.

This picture of living on something other than food to feed our fleshly needs is also painted in John 4:14 when Jesus meets a woman at the well.  He asks her for a drink of water.  She is a Samaritan women, and Jesus, a Jew.  Jews at this time historically, did not associate with Samaritans...this was taboo.  The woman was puzzled that this Jewish man would ask her for a drink from the well.  So she asked him how he could ask HER for a drink?

10 Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God and who it is that asks you for a drink, you would have asked him and he would have given you living water.”  11 “Sir,” the woman said, “you have nothing to draw with and the well is deep. Where can you get this living water? 12 Are you greater than our father Jacob, who gave us the well and drank from it himself, as did also his sons and his livestock?”

  13 Jesus answered and said to her, "Everyone who drinks of this water will thirst again; 14 but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him shall never thirst; but the water that I will give him will become in him a well of water springing up to eternal life." 15 The woman said to Him, "Sir, give me this water, so I will not be thirsty nor come all the way here to draw." 

Jesus then told her to go and call her husband and come back.  17 “I have no husband,” she replied.  Jesus said to her, “You are right when you say you have no husband. 18 The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true.”  19 “Sir,” the woman said, “I can see that you are a prophet. 20 Our ancestors worshiped on this mountain, but you Jews claim that the place where we must worship is in Jerusalem.”

21 “Woman,” Jesus replied, “believe me, a time is coming when you will worship the Father neither on this mountain nor in Jerusalem. 22 You Samaritans worship what you do not know; we worship what we do know, for salvation is from the Jews. 23 Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in the Spirit and in truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks. 24 God is spirit, and his worshipers must worship in the Spirit and in truth.”  25 The woman said, “I know that Messiah” (called Christ) “is coming. When he comes, he will explain everything to us.”

26 Then Jesus declared, “I, the one speaking to you—I am he.”  The woman left her water jar and ran back to her village to tell everyone to come and meet this man.  She said, "come see a man who told me everything I ever did! Could this me the Messiah?"  

I believe this woman probably began to think more deeply every time she went back to that well.  Every time she placed food to her lips, I believe she thought of that encounter with Jesus.  I get chills thinking about it!  And even in all her sins and transgressions, Jesus LOVED her.

This leads me to the next part of the Lord's Prayer:

"And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us."  

Jesus died on the cross for US so that we can be seen by God as perfect and clean.  Without the sacrifice of Jesus, without the blood of the sacrificial lamb, this could not be so.  Forgiveness was a very new concept in the days of Jesus.  "an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth," was the old way.  This is why today, I believe, wars in the Middle East will never end.  Some wars began so long ago based on the "eye for an eye and tooth for a tooth" belief, that the people fighting those wars don't even remember how they began.  Something as small as a neighbor taking the other neighbor's sheep by mistake because it go mixed up with HIS sheep when they were out to pasture, could had been the start of a war that today has killed THOUSANDS upon THOUSANDS of people.  Those same people who used to be brothers and lived in peace next to each other -- whose families new each other -- some even marrying each other -- now hate one another and don't even know why.  

As Jesus hung on the cross, feeling the same kind of pain we feel in the flesh as mortals who are cut or bruised or beaten, He knew God could had sent 10,000 angels to take Him out of His misery.  He did not have to suffer.  He did not HAVE to be shamed, laughed at, ridiculed, struck and beaten, spit upon, and made a mockery of with a sign that read, "King of the Jews" above His head, but he chose to do so -- for you--for me.  He knew His Father, God, burned with anger against those who did this to His son.  Jesus looked to the Heavens and said, "Father forgive them, for they know not what they do."  (Luke 22:34).  

You might see something someone did to you as horrible -- as unforgivable.  Have you ever been crucified and hung on a cross?  Even then, Jesus forgave those who "trespassed" against him.

Now, the shape of the hour glass begins to come back out to the bigger, deeper, things outside of human life and focuses again on things we might not completely understand, such as spiritual warfare.  The next line is:

"and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."  

Those who hung Jesus on the cross and laughed as they did it, they were NOT delivered from evil.  We might look at them and say how horrible they were.  The bible tells us that in 1 Peter 5:8, "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."  There is truly a spiritual battle going on all around us as we go about our day, and most of us have no idea.

We might look at the Germans who chose the side of Hitler and his Nazis as evil...we might look at those today who kill innocent men, women and children by the blade of their sword as evil...we might look at murderers and those who hurt children as evil, too.  But God wants you to know, that your heart is just as susceptible to the evils of this world, as those you might see as crazy.  If you are not careful, you, too, could act on a thought that starts as just a small flicker in your heart or mind.  If you allow evil thoughts to expand and penetrate or fester, you might find yourself doing things you NEVER imagined you would do.  This is why it is important to guard your heart and pray.  Not only should we ask God to "deliver us from evil" that others might do, we must also consider that our own hearts can become tainted with hatred or jealousy or greed.  We might not see these things as pure "evil," but they can be if you allow them to grow.   

And now the shape of the hour glass goes out even further to start forming the base when it says:

"For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever." Amen

The beginning of the Lord's Prayer starts with the idea of God and His Kingdom and Heavenly realms...and it ends with the idea of God, the Kingdom and Heavenly realms.  To me this tells us what is most important as we pray.  We start our prayers praying reverently to our God and acknowledging who He is, while also acknowledging that He is our FATHER.  Not only is He most powerful, but He is YOUR FATHER...your "Abba" (which is an affectionate word for "Papa"...or "Daddy.").  It has a double meaning to me, really.  I acknowledge that my God is powerful and I must speak His name reverently, but also that I can go to Him with ANY problem and "sit in his lap," like His beloved child -- feeling his Big Daddy arms around me and knowing I am safe there in His presence.  His power is a power my enemies fear, but a power I can sit in comfortably knowing that I am safe.  And this, in the end, is what this last line says to me.  

It is a line to let you know that you, a child of God, are safe when you trust in God for ALL your provisions and ALL your life, by letting His will be done.  And if you truly have "your daily bread," live in His word, practice His word by loving others as yourself, and growing to be more like Jesus, you will truly have everlasting life...for His Kingdom is "the Power and the Glory Forever and Ever, Amen."   And you are a part of it.

May your prayers reflect the picture of the hour glass...may your LIFE reflect the picture of the hour glass, by always keeping the Lord your God in reverence at the top, living your life with God's help in the middle, and knowing at the base that He is most powerful and will protect you in the end...into eternity.

God bless you, friends.  Have a beautiful day.  Now, mine can begin.

Ro

Love Those Who Persecute You

I recently had to forgive someone in my heart who has held a grudge against me for years over a rumor...for things I never said or did.  I had told this person how sorry I was for hurt feelings or pains this person had carried in their heart due to these rumors of the past from when I was just a young girl.  I am sure I did some stupid things and said some stupid things as most of us do when we are young, but the things this person proposed I said and did were not among them (** side note** my husband likes to joke and say that our brains our just not fully developed yet as young ones and therefore, we WILL do stupid things...it's not a question of if we are going to do them, it's a question of WHEN)!  HAHA.  I think he is right.  

So, I found myself apologizing AGAIN and again for this person's pains and I told this person I did not do the things they thought I did. But to no avail, this person did not and does not believe me.  At first, this angered me, and I was very hurt that I had to keep defending myself, due to the fact that this person did not believe me.   "I have no reason to lie!" I thought to myself. "WHY must I keep going over this again and again???"  But recently I came to the conclusion that I can only control MY actions...MY truths...MY convictions...MY thoughts...not that person's thoughts, misconceptions or actions.  I cannot make someone believe or act a certain way, just like that person is not responsible for my actions or how I feel about a situation.  Once I realized this, and after much prayer, God freed me from being angry about a situation I cannot control -- about a situation that was not my fault, but that I just have to learn to accept.  And so now here is the moral of this story -- if you are honest, if you truly try to make amends with someone who feels you have wronged them, if you ask for forgiveness for their pains (whether you truly caused them, or not) and they cannot forgive you, then it becomes an issue between them and their God...no longer your burden to bear.  God knows ALL things, even when we do not.  Rest in God's power.  Rest in God's provisions.  Rest in God's solutions.

God says in Matthew 5:44, "But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you."

God also says in  Proverbs 19:11: "A person's wisdom yields patience; it is to one's glory to overlook an offense."

and in Luke 6:27: "But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you,"

But God also tells us that we don't have to stay around people who continue to bring you down or defile your character.  You don't have to stick around and take physical, emotional or verbal abuse.  It is God’s desire that we “encourage one another and build each other up” (1 Thessalonians 5:11).  So this is where I try to live...away from anger, while making it a habit of praying for that person.  That person's actions do not have to dictate mine.  **However** if you know that a person is going to PROVOKE you to anger, if that person does not practice God's way of "encouraging and building each other up" in love, then my advice to anyone dealing with a person like this (or trying to deal with your OWN emotions that are not yet secure), it is ok to stay away from that person until you know you are beyond that behavior.

A pastor who was counseling me once gave me some great advice.  It was suggested that I forgive that person, yet stay away from him or her if I felt too vulnerable -- if I felt like I might not be able to control anger, when not treated with respect or love.  Until those wounds are completely healed, with the help of God and the Holy Spirit, there is nothing wrong with protecting your heart.   As a matter-of-fact, the Bible recommends this in Proverbs 23 where it says, "Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it."  If you know you are going to be put in a situation that sets you up for failure...that will allow your heart to sin...that will put you on a slippery slope where anger prevails over love, avoid it, until you KNOW that you can do all things in love.

For Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ Jesus."  This means someday you CAN get there...to a point where hurt feelings are put aside and you can face this person in love, but you must ALLOW God to transform your heart.  For it also says in Luke 6:45: "A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of."

I pray that only good will come from my heart concerning this person, instead of anger and hurt, but I have to admit that I have had to pray A LOT about it.  God will get me there, and the Holy Spirit will guide me.  It's okay if it doesn't happen overnight as sometimes transformation is a process...MOST times, actually!  The forgiveness is already there, and there is peace in that.  It's praying that the wound STAYS healed that is the hard part.  The key to remember is this, friends -- YOU CANNOT CONTROL THE ACTONS OF OTHERS, BUT YOU CAN CONTROL YOUR ACTIONS TOWARDS OTHERS.  So in this, I rest.  Even though we might not have the answers, God does.  And in the end, God knows the truth...and that is what is important. <3

The Loud, Busy American

I was thinking about American children this morning as I dropped my son off at school.  A friend of mine recently posted how Swedes and Nords (and many other Europeans) see us as "loud" coffee yielding Americans who are also uncomfortable with moments of silence.  I personally do not believe this is just some cultural misinterpretation or overrepresented stereotype, but holds many grains of layered truths.  I also noticed that some learned behaviors start young.

Look at our lifestyles, to start.  Many of us (adults) have to have jobs to feed our families.  Long gone are the 9-5 standard jobs for most Americans.  We either work over those hours daily or we are the ones working more than one part-time job, since laws have changed, making it difficult for employers to hire full-time workers due to new pay and benefit regulations.  Where one person used to be expected to do a 9-5 job with certain skill-sets in mind, as well as only a finite set of responsibilities, now hours have INCREASED for that same individual at many corporate jobs, as well as the amount of responsibility -- where one person now has to do the job of 2 or 3 people.  We go, go, go and many times, work through lunch breaks in order to complete tasks so we can be eligible for the next raise or promotion.  Sound familiar?  And we are passing these attitudes on to our children.  "How so?," you ask.  Take a look at how many activities your children are involved in.

You work all day, then get home to rush off to pick up little Johnny at school.  Johnny has to be at baseball practice by 5:30 pm.  You grab Burger King on the way so he can eat in the car.  Don't forget Sally...she has dance class at 6:00 pm.  Right!  Grab her a burger, too, but don't forget to tell them no onions!  You try to get them SOMETHING that is nutritious so you get the apple side (you know...the ones in the package that has chemical preservatives sprayed on them to keep them looking fresh...but you don't know about that -it just looks like an apple to you...good enough...your conscience feels better about it).  And those burgers have lettuce and tomatoes on them, right?  Ok -- there's their veggies for the day.  You also have to be on them about homework when they get home, in case they didn't get the time to do it at the end of their school day at the after school program they attend. There's no time to just sit and talk about their day.  Now, this is just MONDAY!  You should see the rest of the week!  There's piano lessons for Sally and Johnny's karate class 2 days a week...and games on the weekends...etc., etc.

In all of this, when do YOU stop and rest?  When do YOU stop to take a break?  When do YOU breathe?  When do you check in with your spouse to see how he or she is feeling?  If you are feeding your body the same way you are feeding your children, not only do you have too much going on, you also aren't getting the nutrients you need.  If you are a coffee slugging machine trying to keep up with all of those activities and you have acid reflux and you are wondering why, you might be missing something!  Look at your life!  If you think all this activity is good for you...good for your family...you are mistaken.

I see children my son's age (7) in 4 different activities a week!  You know those families don't take the time to eat together -- especially the ones with more than one child -- when they are all going in different directions and doing different activities.  

My son's father and I divorced when he was 2.  I am remarried now, so Keoni has 2 families to love and who love him back.  He sees his biological Dad and his girlfriend and 2 dogs every-other-weekend.  He also sees his Grandma at least one weekend a month.  While he's at his Grandma's house, he also gets to see his 4 cousins and Auntie who have been visiting for a while.   These are always special, fun times for my son filled with lots of activity and external stimulation.  So when he comes home, I like to have some wind down time.  We do activities that are specifically designed to CALM and REFLECT...in order to allow him the time and opportunities to process life.  He needs this.  We ALL need this.  In Chinese medicine we would call this balancing the yin with the yang...movement with stillness...inner reflection and meditations with outer movement and doing.  Stillness and times of quiet are just as important (if not more) than motion and noise.

I had one patient who had a crazy schedule such as the one I just mentioned above.  She had all sorts of gastro. issues, as well as migraines.  We looked at her lifestyle, the food she was eating, and the amount of sleep she was getting (and not getting) to try to take the problem list apart little-by-little.  She was an "on-the-go" type of gal who hated the idea of silence or meditation.  I was able to show her ways of "meditating" that involved movement.  I also showed her how to breathe (yes...you read that correctly).  A lot of Americans do what is known as "chest breathing," and don't breathe into their diaphragm (a.k.a. "belly breathing).  This can actually decrease the amount of oxygen one gets to the body and brain which can cause problems such as: fatigue, headaches, dizziness, palpitations, hypertension, etc. (for a more in-depth description of this, go to my Waleli Wellness site and article here).  

So, what can you do, loud, busy, over-worked, coffee slugging American?  What can you change?  

1. You can start with breathing.  Seriously...teach yourself how to breath again (go to that link I gave you up above).  Choose to turn off the radio when you are alone in the car between dropping off the kids...then breath.  Turn OFF the cell phone during this time  (I know, I know...you think this is the only time for you to catch up on phone calls, so you use the blue tooth while driving...STOP...take this time for you).  This is just for starters.  
2. Then, start looking at your children.  Do they know how to sit in a room WITHOUT the tablet...without the ipad...without a phone...WITHOUT a t.v. or X-box?  Can they have a conversation with you about their day?  Before you can teach them to appreciate silence, you must be able to do the same -- start with YOU.  
3. This does not mean you have to learn how to sit in a room with your knees crossed while chanting "o----hhh---,mmmmm."  Hey, if that floats your boat then by all means, do it.  But for me, it can even be moving meditation, like walking or hiking out in nature.  Use this time to clear your mind while truly breathing.  Pay attention to how your body feels. This kind of meditation has a few benefits.  You can also get your vitamin D (you really need at least 10 minutes a day that you can ONLY get from the sun...not a pill).  This is known as vitamin D3.  It also helps with depression and low moods.  That 10 minutes should be obtained WITHOUT sunscreen.  So if you plan to walk longer, you can put your sunscreen on after.  If you buy a supplement for vitamin D, the D3 version is the best (click here for detailed vitamin D info.).
4. Start PLANNING meals that are nutritious and stop making the "quick and easy" trip to Burger King.  This will take some getting used to and COMMITMENT but in the end, you will be glad you did.  As you start to eat healthier diets, you will notice more energy in both yourself and your children, as well as less down time due to illness.  Make grab and go bags that you get ready the night before.  You can put frozen peas in ziplock bags and they will be ready for the next day.  Along these lines, limit your sugar intake.  If you do have to have sugar (i.e. in coffee or tea, for example) use REAL sugar, honey or maple syrup...just remember that less is best!  If you are diabetic, talk to your doctor about the best options for you (I hear that Fifty50 is a good low glycemic fructose granulated sugar). For more detailed info. on healthy diets, contact Waleli Wellness for suggestions and a review of your current diet.
5. Tell yourself that it's OKAY to relax a bit and to allow for down time.  It is not only ok, it's ESSENTIAL to stave off burn-out -- both for yourself AND your children.  You might not want to yank them out of their 4 activities right away, but when it's time to sign up for next season, maybe have them pick their favorite, as opposed to 4...just something to consider.  By doing this, maybe you can substitute some family time, instead.  You might even get to all eat at the dinner table again...remember that ancient thing that sits in your dining area? :)

These are just a few suggestions.  If you REALLY are having a hard time understanding these concepts, take a vacation to Norway or Sweden. Show them you can be more than a "loud American" and that you are willing to learn how to enjoy the silence...if you can do that for starters, they will welcome you, most assuredly. :)